Target Meets Menstrual Cycles
MAY WILL CONTAIN FEMALE RELATED TOPICS UNSUITABLE FOR SISSY MALES AND WANNA-BE MACHO MEN.
Target receives the most business from Duffy and me when we host our monthly friends, Gabriel and Kirk. That’s right, folks – our periods. Along with hormonal shopping and Starbucks sipping, we ride carts down the aisles and break for the occasional bathroom “adjustment”.
Kirk is a once-a-month kind of product consumer and has endless shopping logic. “You didn’t eat breakfast, so it’s okay if you buy the Ghirardelli bar! I know you’re sipping on a frappuccino, but it’s on sale. You didn’t eat breakfast, Emelie.”
In the cart, a Ghirardelli bar goes! “Momma would want one…” In goes another. Duffy also has input. “HERSHEY makes some decent dark chocolate bites, y’know.” We simultaneously reach for the package. Oops, two bags of chocolate; guess we’ll take them.
Aimless browsing and I’m directed to the feminine product aisle. Kirk insists on bathroom backup. Plain white boxes, purple packaging with smiling women, tennis players advertising sports-friendly tampons or whatever…
“O-M-GEE, NEON PADS. U by Kotex is ge-enius. The colors seem to suggest possible scents. I’m thinking strawberry for pink, green apple for green, grape for purple…”
Duffy doubts my scent theory, but there’s a mutual attraction to this little black box. I later discover my hopes were for nothing. False advertising bites and seems like a good reason to PMS. Though, in the words of my Momma:
“Being on your period is never an excuse to be a b*tch.”