Not Everyone Loves This Stuff
Once, a piece of crap was found in chocolate gelato at a pub down under in Sydney, Australia. It feels like a reoccurring event because it always tastes like a piece of crap is in gelato when I eat it.
While on a quest for cheap(ish) pints of ice cream a month ago, Duffy found something labeled Sea Salt Caramel. I snatched it from her grip, slam-dunked it into the shopping cart like a pro, and giggled in excitement. Duffy knows more than anybody how much I love Starbucks’ seasonal Salted Caramel Mocha/Frappucino, so she brings anything sweet paired with sea salt to my attention.
I drove home impatient to try this new gem and found the content of the container to be really, really mushy. I left it in the freezer for half an hour…*squeezes pint*…STILL mushy. I placed it on the freezer shelf outside snuggled between packages of frozen fish and other unknown foods.
By the time I fetched my ice cream the second time, nearly everyone had snarfed down their own pints! I slowly peeled away the top, glided the tip of my spoon over the untouched surface, and licked up the caramel like a bad actress on a TV commercial.
It wasn’t very spectacular. It wasn’t spectacular AT ALL.
I took another bite. Then, another. What was I to do with a $3 pint of a not-so-spectacular sweet? It was disgusting; too dense and too sweet. The caramel swirls were the same texture as the gunk left on your teeth after you peel off whitening strips.
I left it in the freezer and gave it another taste test after a few more days. I studied the label as I smacked and read:
Apparently, the main difference between gelato and ice cream is gelato has less fat and focuses more on milk content rather than cream. Gelato is also churned slower for longer periods of time while ice cream is churned fast and hard. Uh…yeah. Then, they are kept in different temperatures, which is the reason my gelato was so freaking soft.
My experience, both literally and figuratively, left a nasty taste in my mouth.
I’m rooting for some Ben & Jerry’s ICE CREAM next time.
In gelato’s defense, I’ve only tried it once.